


Explorations and decisions

by LemonTreeBears



Series: Bucky's Identity Search [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ABDL, Age Play, Baby Bruce, Baby Tony, Breastfeeding, Diapers, Hugs, Non-Sexual Age Play, Protective Natasha, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, baby bottles, baby clint, bottles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-23 19:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11409063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonTreeBears/pseuds/LemonTreeBears
Summary: Chapter updated and complete !!!Bucky explores his identity and decides he might not want to be little.





	1. Assessment

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter updated and complete !!!  
> Bucky explores his identity and decides he might not want to be little.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is finally ready for his assessment, but what happens when he chooses a mission over his baby brother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story I'm aiming to be more of a touchy feely kind of story with lots of hugs and tears of all sorts. Starting out short, but holidays are coming up and I cant wait to get to finish off this story!!! I hope you guys like it :)

Ever since Bucky moved into the tower with everyone and became Tony's older brother, Tony's been obsessed with Bucky. Bucky was his role-model and they did almost everything together. Despite the occasional arguments brothers have, it's easy to say they're joined at the hips. 

Today was the day. Bucky has fulfilled his 6 months full-time being little requirement and was going to go for his evaluation at S.H.I.E.L.D.. Bruce was big today, so he decided to stay at the lab and get some work done, while his mommas Tash and Pepper went to work. Clint on the other hand was still in his little headspace, which was expected, seeing that he had just completed an 8 day mission with only 6 hours of sleep in total. So, he had his daddy(Phil) stay home with him at the tower.  
\---

It was 4:30am and Bucky was first to wake this morning, but instead of his usual 'big' routine, he opted to stay in bed a little longer. Bucky turned to his side to reach over to grab hold of his baby brother and to check on his papa. Tony was adorable as always, snoring lightly and his pacifier softly bobbing between his lips. Bucky leaned in to the side of his head and gave Tony a kiss as he took a deep breath in to small the light scent of baby power and shampoo. He smiled widely and stayed still for a few minutes 'till he finally got up, walked over to Steve's side of the bed and shook him awake. "Hey, I'm going down to the gym. See you for breakfast." Just like that Bucky got dressed and had J.A.R.V.I.S. take him down to the gym. 

To say that Bucky was excited was an understatement, because Bucky was so excited he would jump to the moon and back if he could. But 30 minutes in to his run on the treadmill, it hit Bucky. Bucky was suddenly hit with a wave of worry and sadness, realising that if he were able to go back into the field, he would have to break the news to his baby brother and saying good bye to his baby brother was the hardest thing ever. Some would even say it was worse than kicking a crying puppy on the side of the road. Tony's eyes were irresistibly large, round, and full of pure innocence and love that one gaze into the dark chocolate-y eyes would melt any stone cold heart. Bucky's mind raced with unhelpful thoughts, but besides the nasty thoughts on Tony's tears and grabby hands, Bucky came to holt when he wondered to himself how he would get on with being a little and going on missions. Not to state the obvious fact that Bucky has been little for 6 months straight, besides that, Bucky thought to himself that he might not want to be a little anymore, just os he can find the right mindset to be able to go on missions once again. 'What if I fake it? Fake it till you make?' Bucky spent the rest of his time contemplating down at the gym.

Breakfast was uneventful. Clint and Tony, the only two littles in the house today were unusually quiet, but it was more or less because they were still awfully sleepy. 

Breakfast was somewhat earlier than usual, as Clint had just arrived at 6am and plummeted into his headspace right away after having a meltdown and demanding food from Phil, which caused a raucous on the common floor. To which was then joined by Bucky who was notified of clint's return, so he made his way up to greet the man after he deemed himself tired after a mere 1.5 hours of exercise. -Mostly just wanting to be served bacon- Steve woke grunting at J.A.R.V.I.S. who called Steve's name for the 5th time, trying to pass Bucky's message to him from the kitchen. Once Steve had gotten out of bed, Tony, sensitive as always, before even opening his eyes wailed, in his papa's absence. And just like that, Tony and Steve ended up at the dining table waiting of breakfast to be served at 6:50am. But Bruce on the other hand, was apparently already up and was working at his lab on his floor all throughout the night. Pepper had spent the night over in Natasha's room, because Bruce woke up big in the middle of the night and stayed that way, so he had walked in on the breakfast gang when he ran out of coffee on his floor. Everyone was there, all but the ladies who slept in and disregarded all noise and invitations. 

All else went well through out the morning, until after lunch it was time for Bucky to head over to S.H.I.E.L.D. for his assessment. Steve of corse was asked to go-with, but Tony was having none of that 'kid's aren't allowed' crap. Tony was determined to be by his brother's side at ALL times(big or little), and that was that. In the end, after 20 minutes of bribing and explaining and Tony refusing, He was buckled into his car seat at the back,pacifier bobbing (somewhat) furiously trying to self-sooth after his waterfall-like tears act, and holding onto Bucky's hand the whole ride there.

Steve switched off the engine and got out of the car and went to the back to grab the diaper bag while Bucky leaned over to unbuckle Tony and help him out of the car. The three of them walked hand-in-hand, with Tony in-between the two. Pass the sliding doors and into the elevator. "Hey bubby, you wanna press the button? Yea? Can you find number 23 please. Good job!" Bucky praised his baby brother and ruffled his hair lightly. The elevator 'dinged' and they walked out and into the waiting hall. 

"Bucky?" The attending staff called out.

Bucky looked over to the lady, smiled, and waved his hand slightly to let her know he's coming. But first, he knelt down beside Tony who was playing with the toys in the kid's corner of the waiting area. "Hey bud, I'm gonna go in now okay. Can you stay here with Daddy for a while and be a brave boy for me? I'll be right out and then we can go home and play together." 

Tony's lips quivered but instead of working up a tear he bobbed his head and gave his big brother a nod and said "I big boy, I brave I wait. Buck-ee back fast?" 

"Yea, Bucky back as soon as possible." Bucky leaned over and kissed the top of Tony's head and gave Steve a quick smile and nod and followed the lady through the corridor. 

 

45 minutes had passed and Tony was getting restless and cranky, so Steve decided it would be best to take Tony out for a snack to pass some time. "Tony, do you want to go get a snack down at the mall? Then we can come back to pick Bucky up when he's done? I don't think he'll be ready for at least another hour." Steve looked down at the boy who was sprawled across the play mat sucking on his thumb. "NO! Wait Bucky!" Was all Tony shouted. 

"I know you want to wait for Bucky, but he's going to take a long time and I'm such he'll be hungry when he's done and he'd love a snack. What about we go get him some ice-cream? I know you can help him pick his favourite and he'll be very happy that you you were such a helpful boy bringing your big brother his favourite ice-cream." Steve tried to persuade his boy. 

"Tony gets i-cweam too?" 

"Absolutely! I think we can manage a double scoop today, you and I. What do you think of that?!" Steve spoke excitedly trying to hype up his child. "Okay, hold my hand please. We have to let the nurse know so she can tell Bucky for us. Come on." Tony grabbed hold to his daddy's hand and skipped the whole way to the car and to the ice-cream store. Steve patiently waited as Tony tried to make up his mind between the pink flavour, rainbow flavour, or the yellow flavour, to which he chose rainbow. Steve indulged himself with triple fudge brownie chocolate and piled it onto Tony's scoop. The two sat on a bench outside by the small kid's playground waiting for Bucky's call.  
~

By the one and a half hour mark, Bucky had completed the physical and endurance test, as well as the speech pathology test. The two doctors who accessed him so far both seemed please with the results, but now it came down to the final test - psychological/Littles development test. Because Bucky had identified as a little he had to go through a developmental growth and emotional test that fell under the psychological category. Bucky was meant to be a caretaker at first, but when he had completed the test, he tipped the scale just by 2 marks as a Little, to which he had ended up falling into place as such. Bucky tried to keep that thought to himself - the one about not wanting to be little- and not address it till now...

Bucky was sent to take a seat in the emanation room to wait for the doctor, which he did, until the doctor came in and Bucky lost it. Bucky was nervous and anxious as the same thought raced through his mind, and the possibilities and harm and displeasure it could bring to everyone around him. He kept it all under-wraps until the doctor walked in. Before she could even introduce herself to him Bucky blurted out all of his thoughts. He let out a cry and for 20 minutes he ranted everything that was on his mind to the lady who stepped foot into the room. S.H.I.E.L.D. was S.H.I.E.L.D. it's specialty in not ever getting phased. All she did as Bucky cried and poured his heart out was close the door behind her, take the seat opposite to Bucky, and take notes quietly and efficiently. She kept a small warm smile on her face, and said a few 'ahah, mmhmmm' and never once tried to stop Bucky from talking, only until he stopped to catch his breath and relax his body to sink into the chair did she speak up. 

"Hi Bucky, feeling much better now that everything is off your chest? That was quite the load huh!? There is nothing to worry, it's all a motion that many go through, and I can see where your distress is coming from, but none-the-least does it make it unimportant. Every single feeling and thought is important, and I hope you know that it's not good to push them aside because they fill up your jar and once the cork pops, you feel and explode like you just did. But to address your main concern, I'd like to discuss this matter with Fury and see if we can arrange for another meeting to address and re-asses you. It's not unusual for one to change mindsets, and often it can be a good thing for you to try to step out of that mindset and leave the struggle you have to focus on something else. If you don't feel like you'd want to slip into your little space, that's alright. I'll make sure you get your slip and medical certificate to prove that I've approved of this and we can see how it goes from there. For now, I'd say your good to go back into the field. I've reviewed your test results and you've passed with flying colours, so nothing to worry about. Everything is just perfect, but I'd like for you to come back in 2 days time to meet with Director Fury and I for your re-assesment and evaluation. Would you be able to do that? Great. Thanks Bucky, I'll see you in 2 days." The doctor shook hands and left the room, leaving Bucky all on his own. He took a deep breath in and reached for his phone to ring Steve to be picked up. 

The moment Tony saw Bucky walk through the corridor he ran and leaped into this arms. "Buck-ee! i-cweam! We gots it for yous! It your fayvit! We go home now?"

"Hey Tones. Wow! My favourite ice-cream. Thanks buddy! And yea, we go home now." Bucky gave Tony a tight hug and smiled, but when he leaned over his head to let Tony rest on his shoulders, he sighed and gave Steve a sad smile. 

"Okay Tony, come on now, let's go home and take a nap, you're about to miss nap time and we don't want a cranky dinosaur later at dinner. Awwww, whining won't help buddy." Steve said as he buckled his youngest into the car seat and began to drive home. 

"Hey, it's okay bub, how about you and I take a nap together later. I'm pretty tired and I'd love to have a cuddle buddy." Bucky chimed in. 

In about 10 minutes, the three arrived home. Tony had fallen asleep so Steve carried him into the nursery with Bucky tailing behind them. Steve made quick work of changing Tony into a new diaper and pyjamas then turned to Bucky to question his obvious sadness. "Hey Buck, what's up. How did it go? You don't look fine to me bud. Okay, I understand. We can talk more later when you feel like it. Go take a nap, I'll come get you two when it's dinner." Bucky explained the brief details to Steve but ended up complaining about being tired and having a headache, so he excused himself to go to bed, but not before he carried his baby brother out of the crib and into his arms, and into their master bed. Bucky took all his cloths off, leaving his big boy pants, and under the covers, pulled his baby brother in close and let his eyes do the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya peeps! I hope you guys like this story. If you do, please like or comment and let me know what you liked or if you have constructive criticism. Thank you!!!


	2. I'm a big boy now

Pepper was in the kitchen with Nat preparing dinner with their now little baby Bruce. Bruce had his hands in a large bowl of tomatoes squishing and squashing the tomatoes hard enough for them to ooze through his fingers. The three were preparing spaghetti with meatballs and carrot mash. "Dinner will be ready in 45 minutes" Pepper shouted from the kitchen. Phil was watching a movie with Clint in the living room while having a chat. Most likely Phil trying to get Clint to talk about his mission with ease, since Clint was never one to open up about his fears and reflections unless he's little. Steve helped set the table and then made his way up to the nursery to wake his boys. 

Steve turned the door knob slowly to let the light from the hallway seep through the crack and slowly turn the dim lights on. When Steve peered over the bars of the crib he saw Bucky sleeping with such unease and distress on his face that he felt his heart sink not knowing fully what happened during the assessment. Steve made sure to remember that he'd have to press on the matter if he was going to get Bucky talking and to seek help. But for now, he reached in under the blanket and under Bucky's shirt to rub small circles on his back to wake him. "Hey Buck, it's almost dinner time, do you need some help getting up?" Steve tested the waters to see which state of mind Bucky was in, and when Bucky answered with a strong solid "I'm good. You take care of Tony, I'll head down first." Steve could only smile and feel a tad of disappointment that his boy was in clear distress and stuck on the thought of not being a little anymore. So Steve lowered the bar and watched Bucky hop out and down through the hall. He turned to his youngest and carried the limp child onto the changing table to give him fresh diaper and to put him into long pants and socks to keep his forever-cold-feet warm. Once the change was complete, Steve lifted Tony onto his hip and touched him steadily and rubbed his back with his warm palms to ease him form his haze. "There's my sweet boy. Dinner will be ready soon and Clint is downstairs waiting for his play buddy. Come on, let's go see everyone." 

When they arrived at the living room, Steve lowered Tony down on the playmate beside Clint, under Phil's feet and left to check on Bucky. "Hey Buck, you feeling any better? Do you want to talk about what happened just now? I hate seeing you like this and not being able to help you. I..." Tony suddenly bolted towards the two and leapt right for Steve. "Dada! Ba-ee play?" Steve could tell Tony's headspace had slipped further towards his 18th months old slot, so instead of given him a verbal yes or no response he used his baby/talking-to-a-puppy-like voice and said "Hi baby! how about you sit here with Bucky while I go get your baba." Then he turned to Bucky "I'll put him down for bed earlier and we'll continue this talk. I really do want to hear and help you Buck. Think you handle him for a while?" Steve smiled sadly and went into the kitchen to prepare Tony's bottle. 

"Hey Cap, what's with the bottle? Tony dropped?" Nat spoke up when she saw him looking through the fridge for any pre-prepared bottles, but not finding any. 

"Yea. He's dropped. So I'm just gonna give him a bottle and put him to bed before he gets all cranky and set Clint off." Steve replied as he levelled out the milk powered and meal replacements into the bottle. 

"mmmm. So how did Bucky do today at S.H.I.E.L.D.? I heard from Hill that he passed the tests with flying colours, except for the psych-val. Heard he had a meltdown and said he never wanted to be little again. Is he alright?" 

"Uh... Yea... He passed alright. I'm going to have a chat with him about that tonight. He's been avoiding me since we got back. I'm worried. But we'll see." Steve sighed. "Alright, I better go put that boy to bed before her drags Clint down with him. I've seen Phil trying to get a mission report from Clint and it's tough enough as he is now haha, don't think slipping any more is going to help. See you gals later." Steve walked out and ruffled Bruce's hair on his way out.

Steve walked over to Bucky and Tony, who were now sitting on the sofa with Phil and Clint watching a movie together. Steve reached down to pick his boy up to move to the nursery, ready for Steve to put Tony down for the night. "Up you come baby, daddy's going to take you up to the nursery and have your baba." Steve position himself on the extra-large rocking chair with Tony leaned in close to his chest, legs layered over his thighs. Steve grabbed the dribble cloth and played it just around Tony's neck and under his chin, then slowly eased the nipple between his boy's lips. Just as the first drip of milk was about to make contact with Tony's lips, Tony turned his head and shook it furiously until Steve propped him up to sit straight up, facing each other. "What's the matter Tony? Are you not feeling well?" Daddy Steve asked, and Tony shook his head and said "no". 

"Then what is my little man? Why won't you drink your baba? It's almost time for bed." Steve lowered his gaze into something more soft and kind. 

"Dada Ba-ee bad? Tone Tone bad? Tone Tone bad Ba-ee not wants me play and be big bwah-fer no more?" Tony's lip quivered and hot tears began to slide down his cheeks. 

"Wha-What-Where did you hear that from. No no no baby, Bucky isn't bad, and neither are you. Tony, you're my good baby boy, you're not bad. Never!" Steve took a pause to pull his youngest into a hug and to grab the pacifier off the side of the night stand by he crib. He lifted his boy onto his hip to sway him slightly to help calm his tears and tension. Only until Tony had quiet down and Steve could feel his breathing settle into a steady pace, did he sit back down into his original position. This is, Steve quickly replaced the pacifier with the bottle before Tony could whine, and once he noticed Tony's suckling, he began to speak. 

"Tony, baby, can you look at dada please. Are you listening? Good boy. Bucky has been having a hard time adjusting and when he first moved into the tower, he had a lot to get used to and to learn about the environment we live in. It was extremely overwhelming for him, but because of you, you're the one who made him feel happy and comfortable in learning how to slip and ease himself into his frustrations. And with that, you did such a good job and we're all very thankful to have you. our special boy. You welcomes us both, and every single person in this tower into your beautiful home and you let us have fun with you and we're all accepted for who we are. But with Bucky, from a long time, he's lost himself, and he's trying to find out who he really is. Bucky only just tipped the scale as little and maybe he wants to explore the other side of him which he may feel more comfortable with being. But having said that, that doesn't mean he won't love you anymore than he does now. He may not be your big brother, but he's still your friend and even your family. We will all still be living under the same roof, eating at the same table, and even playing the same games together. I can't promise that Bucky will be around all the time like he used to, but I can promise that we will always be here for you, always. And that's my promise. I'll be speaking with Bucky later tonight and we can try to find a way to work things out better and to help you ease with the transition, but for now, it's not a matter for you to worry about. Right now, I just need my baby boy to smile everyday, draw me beautiful crayon pictures and make me laugh. I love you so much baby boy and I hope you never forget that. You mean the world to me." Steve watched as Tony's eyes battered asleep, so before he moved to place him back into his crib, Steve leaned down to kiss his baby on the forehead and whispered "I love you Tony, forever and always. Sweet dream dear one."

When Steve arrived just in time for dinner, he realised that another young boy was missing from the table. 

"Where's Clint?" Steve asked Phil.

"He's asleep in his room. He had a meltdown after that horrid flashback, so I put him down." Phil responded. 

"Is he alright?" 

"Yah. I think he's just over-worked. Finally got him down for a good sleep. I snuck a pill into his bottle to keep him knocked out for the night, I'm counting on it to work. How's Tony? I heard him crying when we were passing by."

"Oh yea, he was just worked up about Bucky's matter, all good now. He just needed reassurance that no one was going to abandon him, you know how he is with those things." Steve then turned to Bucky who was picking at his meatballs. "You doing alright there Buck?" Bucky simply nodded and returned to picking at his meatballs. Steve could only sigh. 

"C'mon guys, lets not let the food go cold. Bruce helped make the meatballs and tomato sauce, and he mashed the carrots for us." Nat stepped in, trying to lighten up the tension. To which all adults followed he lead and continued to praise the only child in their presence and to give him a round of applause. the tension slowly died down to a light and joyous mood, to which even Bucky eventually ended up playing with Bruce, who was sat across him on the dining table. The two were making funny faces at each other until Pepper called it quits and carrying Bruce away to get cleaned up in the bathroom. The adults chatted mostly about their children and the news(only lightly), and even discussed a new day-care centre S.H.I.E.L.D.. was about to launch. By the end, everyone thanked Pepper, Natasha, and Bruce for the lovely meal and offered to wash up for them in return. So Bruce and his mommies left for the living room to watch a few short Winnie the Pooh clips before heading up to their room to put their baby down for the night. Phil with all intent did offer to help wash up, until he heard Clint's cries through the baby monitor. That left Steve and Bucky. At first, Steve didn't want to push Bucky anymore, seeing that he was reluctant more than ever. But as soon as the dishwasher was fully loaded and turned on, Bucky bursted into tears and collapsed into his own hands. He explained fully to Steve about what he said to the assessor, and how he really wanted to step out of his little headspace. How he no longer wanted to be a weakling and to be able to care for the ones he loved. But what he didn't tell the assessor he told Steve. He couldn't hold his tongue and before he could stop it from spilling he practically shouted "I WANT TO BE WITH YOU! I LOVE YOU!" Bucky and Steve both froze. Pepper's head snapped to face the two inside the kitchen, but Nat, trained as ever, was still as a statue. Nat tapped Pepper on the thigh to get her attention back to the screen to give the two their privacy, but without a doubt, Nat had her ears as sharp as a bat listening in to the conversation. 

"You know how I've felt about you Steve. Always. I thought I was a little because the way I used to comfort and pamper you I wanted the same. To be loved. But until I had the time to let it all sink in, I realised that I wanted to still be in love with you and to have a relationship. I don't want to a big brother, or to be your baby. I want to love you and raise a child WITH you! I want to kiss you and hug you and to be able to see you on a level that's not just paternal. It's never changed for me, and now I know. I..." Bucky's face was now bright red and flushed. He felt relived inside, but on the outside was nervous and shaking like a cold wet dog. But it all stopped when he felt a familiar warmth embrace him. 

"You know I've always loved you too Buck, but I just want you to be sure. You know I'll alway love you no matter what. I just want you to be sure and to prepare yourself, because you know it's not easy to go through the evaluation again. It's brutal, now that they have to re-classify you. And Tony... We'll have to figure out a way to make it work with him. You know how he is with abandonment. And I'm not sure his big brother turning into daddy is something he'll be thrilled with. But hey, don't worry. I'll there with you every step of the way. We'll have laughs and there'll be tears. But whatever the good, bad, ugly. Rain or shine, I'll be there, 'cause I'm with you 'til the end of the line."

Steve reached out a hand to help Bucky up, to which he accepted, and as soon as Bucky was on his feet, Steve leaned in and gave him the kiss of a lifetime. The two walked out hand-in-hand and into the nursery 'their' baby boy was now fast asleep in. Bucky's body tensed but Steve gave him a soft peck to the check and said "hey, it'll be alright. We'll explain it to him and he'll understand. Give it some time. Come on now, I know someone who's long overdue for a playdate with daddy." Steve gave Bucky's ribs a tickle and the two backed out of the child's room with the door cracked open and left for their room, and the night that awaits.


End file.
